The Marriage Course
What is the Marriage Course?
The Marriage Course is a seven session course set in a fantastic atmosphere. You will be served with a candlelit meal and/or coffee, tea and dessert at a romantic table for two while listening to practical talks that are informative and fun, either given live or played on DVD.
There is never any group work and you will never be asked to share anything about your relationship with anyone other than your partner.
The Marriage Course was developed by Nicky and Sila Lee, co-authors of The Marriage Book and The Parenting Book. They have been married for over thirty years, have four children, and are on the staff at Holy Trinity Brompton - the London church that started the Alpha course. Nicky and Sila started The Marriage Preparation Course in 1985 and The Marriage Course in 1996, and the courses continue to spread with thousands of courses now running around the world. They have spoken to thousands on the subject of marriage and are the co-authors of The Marriage Book which has sold over 52,000 copies since it was published in 2000. They run The Marriage Course three times a year at Holy Trinity Brompton with around 100 couples on each course.
Why use The Marriage Course?
It is the same with marriage. A strong, loving and lifelong relationship doesn’t happen by chance. It takes effort and dedication to keep the fun and romance alive. We can all learn how to make even the happiest marriage better.
- Regular check-ups help a car run smoothly and reduce the risk of breakdown.
- The best sports professionals spend hours being coached and perfecting their technique.
- The greatest achievements in life take practice, training and dedication.
The Marriage Course talks are presented in one of two ways:
- DVD talks featuring Nicky and Sila
- Live talks
The talks are interspersed with filmed clips of couples talking about their experiences of marriage and street interviews from around the world.
Over seven sessions of the course you will discover practical tools to help you:
- understand each other’s needs
- communicate more effectively
- grow closer through resolving conflict
- heal the ways you’ve hurt each other
- recognise how your upbringing affects your relationship
- improve relationships with parents and in-laws
- develop greater sexual intimacy
- discover each other’s love languages and much, much more!
Session Topics of The Marriage Course
- Building Strong Foundations – This session helps couples to look at their lifestyle and its effect upon their marriage, and to discover more about each other’s needs and desires – particularly on an emotional level.
- The Art of Communication – Listening is a vital skill for a strong marriage. In this session couples practise communicating their feelings and listening effectively to one another.
- Resolving Conflict – In this session we look at how couples can increase their intimacy by expressing appreciation to each other, recognising their differences, learning to negotiate disagreements and praying for each other (if they feel comfortable doing so).
- The Power of Forgiveness – This session addresses the ways we will inevitably have hurt each other and how to resolve these so we don’t create a backlog of anger and resentment. We look at the process of healing through identifying the hurt, saying sorry and forgiving.
- The Impact of Family – Past and Present – This session focuses on helping couples to recognise how their family background affects the way they relate to each other. They also consider how to build a good and healthy relationship with their parents, in-laws and wider family, and how hurt from childhood can be healed.
- Good Sex – Sexual intimacy needs to be worked at and developed. It isn’t just the icing on the cake; it’s a vital ingredient of the cake itself. In this session couples are encouraged to talk about their sexual relationship and to recognise where they need to make changes.
- Love in Action – This session looks at five ways of expressing love – through words, time, touch, presents and actions. Couples discover which expression of love is most important for their partner and how to put this into practice.
Who is The Marriage Course for?
- Do you have married couples in your church?
- Have they been married for over a year?
- Would you like to encourage their relationship to be the best it can be?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions then this course is for you!
The Marriage Course is for any couple, whether you have been together for one year or 61 years and whether you feel you have a strong relationship or are struggling.
If you have a strong marriage this course will help you make it even better and will reinforce your good habits.
If on the other hand your marriage is in difficulty, the course will help provide you with very practical tools to help you work through the issues. Some couples who are separated have used the course as a way of trying to get back together.
Whatever your situation, the practical tools you learn will help improve and strengthen your relationship.
While The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles, it is designed for couples with or without a Christian faith. Many couples who are not churchgoers have commented that the Christian content was presented in a way that did not make them uncomfortable at all.
What can I expect on the course?
The course takes place over seven evenings. A typical evening starts at 7pm and finishes by 9.45pm. Each session includes:
Fantastic atmosphere that many say feels like a date night. Courses are run in all kinds of venues – homes, restaurants, cafes (after hours), community halls, churches, even a cruise ship - but wherever your local course is run you should find a great atmosphere and a friendly welcome.
A meal at a romantic table for two giving you space to relax and chat. You will be served with a candlelit dinner and/or coffee, tea and dessert.
Practical talks that are informative and fun, either given live or played on DVD. They include filmed clips of couples sharing their own experiences and street interviews from around the world.
Coffee and private discussion time as a couple. You will be given topics to discuss (sometimes with the help of an exercise). Music is played so you can’t hear couples on other tables and they can’t hear you!
No group work, so relax - you will not have to share anything about your relationship with anyone else.
Homework - at the end of each session you are given some homework to do together. This will help you to build on what you have learnt and give you the opportunity to apply it to your relationship. Don't worry - it won't be marked! It isn't looked at by anyone else and is just for your own benefit.
What is the cost?
Most courses charge a minimal fee to cover costs. Your local course administrator will be able to let you know how much you’ll need to pay. (Many courses also offer bursaries.)
What couples say about the course
Don’t just take our word for it – this is what some past guests have said about the course:
"Those times of one to one sharing between couples at the privacy of their own individual table was enriching. The topics raised during the sessions gave couples the opportunities that we don’t normally have, for an open discussion. The ambience and privacy provide a conducive atmosphere for a heart to heart sharing. We came back from The Marriage Course refreshed and enriched by the course." Pr Jerry Dusing ( President of SIB, Sabah)
“The relaxed, refreshing, romantic atmosphere and set up really helped us to be more responsive and it gave us more time for each other. The practical exercises are so helpful and it is so easy to follow the course. It got both of us talking and sharing and it is so refreshing, rekindling and reaffirming for us.” Pr Gan Kim Swee from Amazing Grace Church, Seremban
“The Marriage Course helps us realise the need to have marriage time to grow romance. I learnt that I need to ask the right questions to provide meaningful conversation and to understand the things that really matter to my partner. It gives us the keys to enrich our marriage and it shows how to improve our communication skills.” Chia Bee Ling
“It has given us sufficient and uninterrupted time to do the exercises and share about the many issues we seldom talk about deeply. We understand each other more though we have been married for about 30 years. It is very practical.” Pr James Wong of Basel Christian Church, Sandakan
“It has given me uninterrupted time to talk to my husband and share many of our feelings. The romantic setting of the room helps to bring back the romance in love.” Connie Chung
"In the exercise ‘Knowing me, knowing you’, I discovered that there are so many things that we still do not really know each other even after 27 years of marriage." Annie Tan, Malacca
"The art of communication and marriage time has helped me personally to know that spending time together and listening to your spouse is key to a healthy marriage." Lyn Tan, Malacca